


skinny love

by its_ali_d



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:05:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8209595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_ali_d/pseuds/its_ali_d
Summary: skinny love(n.) when two people love each other, but are too shy to admit it, though they show it anyway.





	1. one

there are some things in life that you just don't prepare yourself for. for tyler, it was falling in love with his best friend josh.  
tyler had tried many times to pinpoint the exact time he'd fallen in love with josh. he thought about it and thought about it, and eventually just decided he'd fallen in love with the boy at first sight, as cheesy as that sounded.  
there was something about josh that tyler just couldn't shake. maybe it was the feeling tyler got around josh, or his smell, or his voice. maybe it was the way he treated tyler, or the way he looked at tyler (like he was the only one in the room, no matter if they were surrounded by others or completely alone). maybe it was his eyes, or his lips. maybe it was everything, because joshua dun was pretty great overall.  
josh didn't know about tyler's little 'crush', and tyler hoped he never found out. well, at least not right now. maybe one day tyler would get the guts to tell him, but not now. tyler hadn't even told him he was gay yet, he couldn't just drop all of these bombs on him at once. besides, josh didn't feel the same way. if tyler told him he liked him like that...well, tyler could only imagine how fast josh would leave his life. tyler couldn't have that. he needed josh.  
josh helped tyler in so many ways. tyler's anxiety played a large role in his life. it held him back from many things, it sometimes possessed him and made him do crazy things. it sent him into attacks where he cried and he couldn't breath and felt like he was dying.  
josh knew all of this, and helped him. a rude comment at school usually resulted in josh's hand in tyler's, their fingers intertwined as josh gave a gentle squeeze and a warm smile to bring him out of the beginning of dark thoughts. josh never let him stray too far into the shadows, those mocha eyes always brought him back. but they brought him back into something that could be seen as better or worse, depending on your perspective. they brought him back into love, and tyler continued to drown over and over in those eyes that sparkled for tyler and tyler only.  
today was one of those days where it seemed like tyler was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and all he wanted was josh. he ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair and let out a long sigh, startling as a tap on the window broke him out of his thoughts. he spun around on his heel to see a smiling boy with blue hair outside of his slightly foggy window. tyler let out a giggle and went to the window, opening it and tugging josh inside.  
josh pulled tyler in for a quick hug, and tyler smiled into his shoulder.  
"hey," said josh, and at the sound of his voice, tyler felt the weight fade away.  
"hi." tyler replied, pulling away to finish getting ready. they had school today. it was friday though, fortunately. tyler didn't think he could get through another day without knowing he had two whole days to rest and eat junk food with his best friend while they caught up on orange is the new black on netflix.  
tyler grabbed his black book bag and slung it over his shoulder, throwing josh a smile as he opened his bedroom door and the two boys headed out. josh lived right next door to tyler, so he often climbed through the window in the mornings before school. tyler once asked why he didn't just come through the front door, seeing as his parents loved josh and wouldn't mind at all-not that they woke up early enough to even see him there anyway-but josh just laughed and claimed it 'wasn't as fun.' tyler didn't see how climbing through a dirty window at seven a.m. was fun, but he wasn't one to argue, so he just rolled his eyes at his friend and continued on.  
the walk to school wasn't a long one, but it felt even shorter today. probably because tyler was listening to josh talk about something that'd happened at his house last night, and his eyes were bright and happy. josh laughed, and tyler thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. but he always thought that when josh laughed; this was nothing new.  
the walk was over too soon, and then they were walking through the front doors of the school, and then off to go to class. tyler and josh had homeroom together but that was all until fourth period where they both had a.p. science. they entered homeroom and sat towards the back like usual, josh on his phone and tyler doodling on the desk he sat at.  
the teacher called attendance through sips of coffee, and when it got to tyler's name, it took him a second to respond.  
he was busy drawing a tiny heart on the desk corner, and blushed dark red when he realized he had been called on.  
"h-here," he stuttered, and the teacher grumbled, erasing the mark she'd made on the paper. a few snickers were heard throughout the class, and tyler looked down, his chest tightening.  
a hand slipped into his on top of the desk, and tyler looked up. josh smiled softly at him and shook his head, mouthing the words "just breathe." tyler did as told, taking deep breaths, though it was hard with josh looking at him with that little smile. josh's hand stayed wrapped around his until the end of homeroom.

___

"joseph!" a voice yelled from across the room, and something flew at tyler, hitting him in the side of the head. tyler looked down at the crumpled up paper ball but stayed quiet, chewing on his lip.  
"hey. i'm talking to you, freak." the voice hissed, and tyler slowly looked up, his mind racing. brendon, one of tyler's biggest antagonists stared back at him, a smirk gracing his face.  
freak. freak. freak.  
"where's your boyfriend, joseph?" brendon asked, his smirk widening when tyler looked down instantly, blinking quickly to hold back the tears. he cried pretty easily when it came to this kind of thing. you'd think after enduring it for years he'd get used to it, but words hurt and tyler couldn't get used to it.  
"does somebody have a crush? oh, tyler." brendon cackled, slapping his skinny jean covered knee. "that's adorable,"  
freak. freak. freak.  
the voices in his head wouldn't stop. the word bounced around in his mind like a rubber ball.  
freak. freak. freak.  
just breathe.  
tyler's eyes snapped open.  
well, that was new.  
his bully's brown eyes blinked back at him, and tyler swore he could almost feel josh's hand in his again.  
i'm gonna make josh proud, tyler decided.  
brendon raised an eyebrow at tyler as he cracked a small smile, nodding at brendon.  
"thanks, i think i'm pretty cute," he replied, and brendon's smirk dropped completely. tyler giggled quietly and turned back around in his desk, facing the front.  
brendon growled from beside him, glaring at tyler. tyler continued to block out all words that came from brendon's mouth for the rest of class, humming to a song josh had showed him the day before to keep him calm. he took notes rapidly to distract him from the douche beside him, waiting patiently for the end of class so he could see josh again.  
finally, the bell rang, and tyler gathered up his stuff, shoving it in his bag and zipping it up violently before rushing out to the hallway.  
josh met him by the door, grinning once he saw his best friend. tyler smiled big, throwing his arms around josh.  
"i did a thing!" tyler exclaimed, and josh laughed.  
"what was the thing?" josh prompted, pulling tyler towards science.  
"okay, so brendon was being an a-"  
"i'm gonna kill him." josh grumbled under his breath, and tyler held back from rolling his eyes fondly, continuing on.  
"-rse as usual, and i totally stood up to him!"  
"you totally did?"  
"yes!" tyler stated proudly. "he was teasing me about…"  
realizing he couldn't exactly tell josh what brendon was teasing him about, he trailed off.  
josh waited patiently for him to continue.  
"uh...he was teasing me about my height. he called me adorably short and i said 'thanks, i think i'm pretty cute,'" tyler laughed, and josh chuckled, before frowning. "wait, you and brendon are the same height?" it came out of his mouth as more of a question, and tyler's eyes widened.  
"hey, look! science!" he said, tugging josh into the classroom.  
not long until you scare him away if you keep going at this rate, idiot.  
tyler pushed the thoughts back and sat down with his handsome friend, trying his hardest to stay focused as josh's knee rested against his from the chair next to him at their large black group table.


	2. two

tyler and josh sat at lunch later that day, tyler picking at his pizza as he scrolled through tumblr carelessly. he hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday, which josh thought was stupid. he sighed, reaching across the table and snatching the younger boy's phone out of his hand and pushing his tray towards him gingerly.  
"hey!" tyler yelled, but then softened and picked up the pizza at the look on josh's face.  
"fine," he murmured, taking a bite of pizza and keeping his gaze down. he set his pizza down and chewed slowly, chest tightening at the thought of josh being mad at him. as if he had read his mind, josh gripped tyler's chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his head upwards to look at him. tyler kept his eyes down still, refusing to meet josh's eyes.  
"ty. look at me, baby." tyler's gaze jumped up to josh's at the sound of the petname, a grin appearing on his face.  
"did...did you just call me baby?" tyler asked, a small laugh bubbling up inside of him as josh's eyes widened and he dropped his hand, his cheeks tinging a light shade of pink.  
"YOU DID!" tyler yelled, bursting into laughter. josh continued to blush, pouting.  
"shut up, it just slipped out. that's all,"  
"sure. sure." tyler sobered up, biting his lip. "hey, josh?"  
the blue haired boy looked up, his beautiful hershey eyes flashing with unrecognizable emotion.  
"yeah?"  
"you should let things like that slip out more often. it's endearing,"  
and with that, tyler joseph, who was shy around most everyone but josh dun apparently, finished his pizza and stood to throw his plate away. 

___

josh was still dazed from tyler's earlier comment, his mind racing as he tried to figure out if tyler was just joking or if he really didn't mind that josh had called him baby. josh's cheeks began to burn at just the thought. josh looked over at tyler who sat beside him. they were in sixth period now, the next period they had was free period and then they could go home. then they could go home and tyler could cuddle up to josh while they watched orange is the new black and josh would sit there with all of these unrequited feelings and wonder, just wonder what it would be like to make tyler his own.  
and then he'd have to ask tyler what was going on in the show since he was completely zoned out and tyler would laugh, pause, and explain. he was good like that. he was good to josh.  
joshua let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair, and tyler looked over and raised an eyebrow. josh smiled, and tyler smiled back.  
his smile…  
i've seen it a thousand times and that'll never be enough for me.  
josh knew then, while he stared at tyler, with his tongue poking out from between his lips while he took notes as quickly as possible on practically everything the teacher said…  
josh knew he was in love with his best friend.  
and thus, joshua dun's momentary lapse.  
the whole day, he was freaked out from his discovery. he was lost in his own little world, wondering how he could've let this happen and what was wrong with him for letting this happen. tyler would never think of josh that way, josh was his friend and that's what he needed from josh. not some stupid school girl feelings.  
where did these feelings even come from anyway?  
but every time that tyler looked, touched, smiled at, or spoke to josh he just got all...fuzzy.  
josh couldn't control it, he wished he could. he would stop it, stop it for tyler.  
but he couldn't. and he really didn't want to.  
there was something lovely he found about being in love. dumb and a bit cheesy maybe, but true.  
he looked over at tyler, who was now drawing something in the corner of his paper. he paid no attention to josh, who was practically trapped inside his thoughts, thinking about how to get these feelings to go away.  
he didn't find a way.  
not even later that day as he and tyler sat together in tyler's room, tyler smushed up against josh's side as he watched netflix. not even after tyler fell asleep on josh's arm and josh's arm fell asleep on the bed, and josh refused to move his arm in case it would wake tyler.  
not even the next day, or the next day.  
not even monday, when it started all over again and brendon urie started up again with his crap.  
as a matter of fact, it seemed like his feelings and emotions towards tyler had somehow been amplified. like they knew he was trying to get rid of them and decided to let him know that they were there to stay.  
brendon had made his way over to the two boys who were back at lunch. josh was watching tyler eat his food with a growing warmth. he was proud of the boy, he'd witnessed him eat a whole box of cheez its saturday afternoon and now he was eating lunch again.  
the bully had walked over to them, interrupting josh's happy moment and sat down next to tyler. tyler's head had snapped up and he had locked his eyes with josh, fear flashing across his face quickly.  
josh had growled, literally growled at brendon, his fists clenching beneath the table. he was going to kill brendon if he touched a single hair on tyler's head.  
brendon raised an eyebrow and grinned, leaning towards josh.  
"oh, hi there." he said. josh forced a quick smile.  
"hi." he mumbled, glaring at brendon still.  
tyler bit his lip from next to brendon, shaking slightly. at the sight, rage filled josh and he moved his hand up to grip the table until his knuckles were white.  
brendon, noticing this, grinned wider and slid his arm around tyler's shoulders. tyler stiffened and josh kept himself from lunging across the table.  
"move your arm or i'll break it," josh whispered, his eyes darkening.  
tyler's eyes widened visibly as he recognized the anger on his face, but brendon just moved even closer to josh.  
"is that a threat, joshua?" the boy asked, his eyes hard.  
"you're d*mn right it is." josh hissed, out of his seat and pushing brendon to the floor in one quick motion.  
brendon stood up slowly, rubbing the back of his head before making his way to josh. a mixture of shock and confusion-and excitement-spread through the cafeteria as brendon threw a punch at josh, hitting him in the jaw.  
josh's face snapped to the side, and tyler let out a gasp, going to stand. josh didn't even hesitate to slam brendon into the wall behind them, pounding into his face with his fists until his skin on his knuckles were torn and brendon was crying. then he let a teacher pull him away, everything-including the sounds of tyler crying-just background noise.  
he's gonna hate you. you know how much violence makes him uncomfortable.  
"i didn't mean to…" josh whispered, fear clutching his heart.  
he's gonna leave you.  
he's gonna leave you.  
he's gonna leave you.  
"he's gonna leave me."  
it was all josh could think about. in the principal's office, later when they left to go to tyler's house and tyler was quiet.  
josh could tell tyler was disappointed in him. it showed in the little things, the way tyler let out a sigh every several minutes and shot side glances to josh before sighing louder.  
josh was let off with a warning. he couldn't figure out why he'd gotten off so easy, but after the counselor and principal exchanged the furious principal had let him go.  
josh thought it might've had something to do with tyler, considering josh was his best friend...but he didn't really know. there was no telling. he didn't really care, either. all he cared about was the fact that tyler currently hated him and he wasn't sure if there was a way to fix that, or if he even could.  
tyler was annoyed that josh wouldn't look him in the eyes. he'd been avoiding his gaze all day since they'd gotten home. he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't respond in anyway. he just sat there quietly with his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes glazed over like he was lost in thought and couldn't find a reason to bring himself back, which was pretty accurate. josh thought he lost tyler. he didn't care anymore.  
eventually, tyler got sick of it and let out a loud groan, slapping josh upside the head.  
josh's eyes snapped up to meet tyler's, shock evident on his face.  
tyler glared at him.  
"say something, you...you...you jerk!"  
tyler's face was a bright red, frustration in his eyes.  
josh continued to stare at him, before laughter bubbled up in his throat, and he burst into chuckles, doubling over.  
"i-" he continued to laugh, leaning against the wall to keep his composure.  
he lost it, sliding to the floor.  
tyler just watched, wondering if his friend was okay.  
tyler couldn't deny, the butterflies he felt in his stomach as he listened to josh's crazy laughing caused a small smile to try and make its way onto his face, but he fought it, refusing to let his angry facade crack.  
"that-that's the worst insult t-that you could think o-of?" josh said between laughs, letting out a shuddering breath and wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. tyler's face reddened again, not from anger, but this time from embarrassment.  
"well, y-yeah," he muttered, chewing on his lip.  
josh sighed, standing up and grabbing tyler's hands. tyler felt the butterflies start up again, his heart thumping loudly.  
can he hear it? can he hear my heartbeat?  
josh let his eyes search tyler's, before dropping his gaze to tyler and his hands that were intertwined on either side of them.  
"i'm sorry," josh murmured. tyler patted the blue fluff that was the older boy's hair and let out a light giggle when josh playfully glared his way.  
"don't be. you did good, you made me feel safe...and you know that's hard for me these days," tyler said quietly, resting his head on josh's shoulder. josh pulled him into his arms and felt worry gnaw at his heart.  
he was in too deep. at this point, he knew he was head over heels in love with tyler.  
and he also knew he couldn't feel that way.


	3. three

something was wrong with tyler.  
he had just woken up, and as soon as he opened his eyes, a wave of anxiety hit him and knocked the air and all common sense out of him. he couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe. josh was all the way next door, sleeping at his house. they had school tomorrow, and it was 2 am. josh was asleep. there was no way he could help tyler this time.  
the younger boy struggled to breath calmly, but couldn't. his skin felt too tight for his body, he felt trapped. the walls were closing in on him. he needed out of this state of mind.  
he felt the dark thoughts begin to form.  
tyler yanked his phone up off the floor where it had fallen and clicked on josh's name, his eyes squeezed shut so tight he could see stars. the phone rang once, twice, three times.  
and then…  
"hello?" josh's husky voice sounded through the phone.  
tyler's breathing slowed, barely.  
he didn't say anything.  
"tyler?" josh questioned again, and he opened his eyes, looking out of the window to josh's house. josh's light flicked on, and he opened his window. tyler leaned forward, looking at josh and watching his friend lean against the window sill as tears slowly streamed down the boy's face.  
"hi," tyler whispered into the phone, watching josh's face fall.  
"what's wrong, baby?" josh hummed, sitting down on the window and letting his legs swing. "talk to me."  
tyler situated himself, sighing into the phone.  
"i don't k-know what triggered i-it this time j-josh," tyler mumbled into the receiver, and he watched josh's reaction carefully as he picked out his words.  
"i-i, i had just woken u-up."  
josh froze.  
"are you having th-"  
"no." tyler stated, his eyes meeting josh's. "no. i didn't. i'm not."  
josh let out a breath, visibly relaxing.  
"good. just remember what we practiced, yeah? you're gonna be okay." josh replied, yawning and moving to go back to his room. tyler involuntarily let out a quiet whimper, and josh froze once more.  
after a few seconds of quiet, the older boy turned back around and looked at tyler cautiously.  
"...do you want me to stay with you, ty?" he asked, and tyler nodded quickly, a blush coloring his cheeks.  
"okay." josh hung up the phone, hopping back into his room. a few seconds later, he made his way carefully to tyler's window, sliding into his room and making his way to the boy's bed. they laid there together, tyler slowly feeling more and more calm.  
josh wrapped his arms around tyler's waist, and tyler buried his head into his friend's shoulder.  
with that, he drifted off to the sound of josh's heartbeat, wondering what he did to ever deserve someone as great as josh. 

___

the next day, tyler and josh woke up around the same time, snuggled together under tyler's covers.  
a few moments after the boys woke up, tyler's alarm began to blare loudly, and josh groaned, covering his head with a pillow while tyler slammed his hand down on the stupid thing.  
josh climbed back to his room soon after to get ready. tyler made his way to his bathroom, sighing at his reflection. he was still all tingly from the way josh had been holding him.  
he splashed some cold water on his face and patted it dry with his shirt, slipping it off and throwing it to the floor. he slid his basketball shorts off too, before running a comb through his hair and wandering over to his closet.  
he leafed through his clothes, pausing when he came to a pale pink skater skirt. it was a gag gift from his friend ryan a couple of years ago, but for some reason he had never thrown it out.  
a smirk made its way to his face and he chuckled quietly as he got an idea.  
walking over to his full body mirror, he carefully slipped the skirt on, snapping the waistband of it and doing a little twirl.  
he grew quiet.  
oh.  
this isn't that bad…  
he bit his lip, flashing a smile at his reflection.  
"uh…"  
tyler shrieked at the noise, stumbling over to the closet and hiding himself.  
josh stared wide eyed from the window sill, half in and half out of tyler's bedroom.  
his eyes traveled back down to the skirt tyler was wearing, and a small smile flickered onto his face.  
"oh." he said, walking towards tyler.  
he's gonna think you're a freak, dressing up in girl's clothes. what were you thinking. idiot. idiot. idio-  
josh's hands broke tyler out of his thoughts, straightening out tyler's skirt. he fixed it carefully, then stepped back and gave tyler a bright smile.  
"you look pretty," he said softly, and tyler felt a sudden giddiness come over him. he let out a quiet giggle, batting his eyelashes.  
"t-thank you, joshie." the younger boy mumbled, doing another spin for josh.  
"you should wear that today," josh says, and tyler quickly shakes his head, backing away again.  
"are you kidding? i get picked on for existing, how much do you think i'd get picked on for wearing a freaking skirt." tyler sighed, going back to his closet and picking out a pair of grey joggers sadly.  
"i doubt anyone's gonna mess with you after yesterday, ty."  
"but-"  
"don't do it if you don't want to, but you looked awfully cute to just leave that skirt here in this closet," josh cut him off, shrugging.  
tyler eyed his reflection again, letting out another sigh and snorting.  
"i'm gonna wear it." tyler decided, and a surprised grin broke out on josh's face.  
"really?" he asked, and tyler nodded, letting out a little laugh.  
"really."  
"that's great!" josh exclaimed. "get dressed, i can't wait to show off my best friend."  
tyler laughed loudly, ignoring the fact that josh just friend zoned him and grabbed a small blue and pink tie dye alien sweater out of his closet, his pale blue flower crown he was obsessed with but never wore, and his adidas.  
he threw it all on, fixing his hair and turning to show josh, who was busy on twitter. when josh looked up, his jaw dropped.  
"oh my god. yes. we're definitely showing you off." he decided, and tyler laughed loudly, pride bubbling up in his stomach. for once, he didn't feel...wrong. he liked this. he liked it a lot.  
i should tell him…  
tyler was surprised at his own thoughts.  
this went so well...maybe telling him you're gay will too.  
tyler stopped those thoughts right there, letting out a deep breath and grabbing his bag.  
nervousness and anxiety already found their way into his system, but he fought it, blushing when josh grabbed his hand and pulled him outside. out the front door they went, walking to the school, still hand in hand.  
tyler tried desperately not to think about everyone's reactions when he got there, and josh tried desperately to distract him.  
the two walked through the double doors of the school, tyler's heart beating erratically.  
his breathing was short and fast, and his head was throbbing with thoughts about what the other students would have to say about tyler's choice of outfit today.  
surprisingly, no one said anything when they first arrived, though there were stares, snickers, and surprised glances.  
tyler tried not to pay any mind, which was particularly easy considering josh kept whispering things in his ear as he grabbed his books from his locker and ignored everyone.  
the blue haired boy followed tyler to homeroom (after a quick stop by his own locker), and they made it there way too early. the teacher didn't say a word as tyler delicately straightened out the back of his skirt before sitting down in the cold desk chair next to josh.  
josh shot him a smile as he began to take deep breaths, pulling his pencil out of his bag and returning the smile.  
he doodled on the desk for a while, waiting for everyone else to enter the classroom so the teacher would call roll and he could just get out and go cry in the bathroom or something. it's crazy how fast something that made tyler happy could be corrupted by his anxiety.  
eventually, students filed in and took their seats, whispering. probably about tyler. he didn't doubt it, but the more he sat there, the less he cared.  
he thought he looked fine. and so did josh. so far, no one had said anything to his face, so that was a plus. he could at least pretend they weren't saying anything at all if they didn't say anything to his face, right?  
but that soon changed.  
the first time someone called tyler a ‘fag,' he was alone in the hallway, on his way to science where josh was waiting.  
he hadn't met him at the door like usual, because he'd had to go to class early to talk to the teacher about a test he'd taken last week.  
surprisingly, it wasn't brendon.  
this time, it was someone he didn't even know, someone he'd never spoken to before and had only seen once or twice in the hallways or at lunch. other than that, he'd never made any sort of contact with the boy. but apparently, the boy still had something to say about tyler, which he made clear, passing by tyler and throwing an "ugly fag" over his shoulder with a sneer.  
tyler stared at his back, trembling.  
everything he'd said earlier about not caring became lies, and he could feel his 'tough guy' exterior cracking. he stood there for a minute more, his eyes watering before he headed towards the science room. on the way there, he ran into brendon, and expected more ugly words. instead, he just got a small smile, and a rush of air as brendon raced to catch up with a tall brunette tyler was pretty sure was named ryan.  
tyler stood in front of the science classroom, half scared, a bit offended, and just a little bit shocked.  
when he entered, everyone was already there, and he made his way next to josh quickly, avoiding josh's unnerving concerned stare.  
luckily, josh kept quiet, not asking tyler any questions. tyler made it through class without a breakdown, throwing himself into his work. josh could tell something was wrong, but he also knew tyler didn't want to talk about it right now. he'd ask later.  
the rest of the day was just as hard, but josh finally figured out why tyler was in such a mood at lunch when a group of boys came up to tyler and teased him about his skirt. which, before josh could say anything, brendon shoved them out of the way and sent them off, plopping down beside tyler.  
this time he didn't tease tyler, or wrap his arm around him, or purposefully antagonize josh. he just sat there, eating his food.  
josh stared at tyler, who hid in his sweater.  
"what's going on, ty?"  
tyler didn't answer josh, and brendon looked back and forth between the two, before sighing and dropping his burger back on his plate.  
"jesus-okay, everyone's picking on ty-ty here for wearing his pretty little skirt, and it's sending him into freak out mode, meanwhile he doesn't want to bother you with it and make you kill anyone else." brendon said, rolling his eyes. "so oblivious."  
josh raised an eyebrow, looking to tyler in disbelief as tyler sputtered, looking for a good lie.  
"is he telling the truth?!" josh demanded, and tyler let out a fake laugh.  
"p-pffftttt, nawww hahaaha," he said.  
brendon glared at him.  
"pfffftttt yes." he replied, adding an experimental "hahaha?" at the end.  
tyler groaned and slapped brendon, who just grinned playfully and shrugged.  
josh turned to face tyler again.  
"why didn't you tell me?"  
"because last time someone-" he turned to look at brendon who looked away and whistled. "said something about me or to me that was even slightly offensive, you freaked out and punched them in the face and stuff!"  
"to be fair, i deserved it," brendon cut in, and josh and tyler both yelled at him.  
"shut up!" they said in unison.  
brendon mumbled something about being unappreciated and left to throw away his trey.  
"i'm sorry," josh murmured, and tyler sighed, shaking his head.  
"no, i'm sorry,"  
from across the room, brendon bumped into the cute brunette boy he'd run after earlier.  
he let out a quiet squeak, spinning around to face brendon.  
"we've got to stop meeting like this, bren." he laughed, blushing slightly, and brendon smirked.  
"did you just call me bren?"  
"w-well, i-"  
"no, don't worry about it ry. i don't mind." brendon said, before walking off with a small smile.  
josh smiles widely from the table and pokes tyler.  
"i think our boy brendon has a bit of a crush," josh laughed, and once again, tyler felt the urge to tell him.  
brendon sat down again, and as soon as he did the bell rang. he let out a curse, standing back up, and the three boys erupted into laughter.


	4. four

josh didn't beat anyone up.  
not yet, anyway. they were walking down the hallway, on the way out of the school. tyler was ready to go home, to lie down and just chill out.  
as they were walking out, someone shoved past tyler, spitting out a nasty name as they passed. tyler's eyes went wide as josh turned around to grab the kid, fist clenched, but before he could, someone else did.  
brendon pushed the kid into the lockers, punching him hard.  
"now now, leave the pretty boy alone," brendon growled, shoving the kid away. the boy ran off, stumbling.  
brendon moved to leave, ryan trailing behind him quietly.  
brendon grabbed ryan's hand and ryan let out a loud squeal, laughing as brendon yanked him out of the school.  
ry turned and waved at the two boys behind him, and josh and tyler looked at each other, bursting into laughter.  
tyler sighed, slipping his hand into josh's.  
"that was wonderful," he said, and josh nodded, squeezing his hand.  
"i agree,"  
they exited the school, walking back towards josh's house.  
tyler liked josh's house. it was open, and mostly empty. his parents were never home. the house was painted in nice light colors, making it seem larger than it actually was. it always smelled like wood floor cleaner and leather.  
josh's room was tyler's favorite. his wall above his bed was covered in polaroids of the boys together. his walls were a light blue, and he had matching light brown furniture. his bed was soft and large, welcoming. tyler and josh spent a lot of time there, hanging out. there was a small book on his bedside table, something they were reading in english class.  
a white rug sat beside his bed.  
tyler often sat up in bed there, staring out of the window in front of him where josh's brown desk was, curling his toes in the white rug.  
tyler thought it felt like home.  
tyler also thought nothing felt more like home than josh.  
the boys stopped suddenly, and tyler was torn from his day-dream. josh slid the key into the lock on the door, turning it and opening it swiftly.  
tyler practically drifted inside, following josh down the hallway and stopping, waiting for josh.  
josh jumped up and grabbed a rope and yanked, pulling down a set of stairs.  
did tyler mention josh lived in the attic?  
the boys climbed up, reaching his hand down to grab tyler's and pull him up the rest of the way carefully.  
once tyler and josh were inside, josh pulled the ladder back up and threw himself on his bed face first, groaning.  
he rolls over after a minute and looked at tyler who was standing quietly by the door, (the boys called it the floor door) and lifted his arm, gesturing for tyler to come over.  
tyler slid into bed next to josh, wiggling until he was snuggled under josh's arm, his eyes closed harshly.  
josh sat there, staring at his pale blue wall quietly.  
everything was silent until a boom of thunder.  
tyler jumped, and josh realized that he was shaking, snapping out of his thought train and pulling the covers over them. they laid there, just listening as the rain began to create a lullaby for them to sleep to.  
it was quiet, oh so quiet. but the boys were okay with it.  
sometimes you don't need to talk. you don't need to have a conversation. sometimes all you need is someone to sit there and be quiet with you.  
sometimes all you need is someone to listen, even if there's nothing to listen to.  
that was what tyler needed right now, and somehow, josh just knew.


	5. five

there was something about storms that calmed josh.  
maybe it was the rain, or the darkness, or the cold feeling. josh loved water, so maybe it was that. there was no telling.  
it had the exact opposite effect on tyler, who hated storms.  
they were loud, and dark, and scary. they made him shake and caused fear to sink into his bones, his hands colder than ice and the air outside.  
maybe that's why josh loved storms.  
because when tyler was scared, he always snuggled up to josh, his hands (which were balled into fists) tucked in between his and josh's chests.  
he would thread his legs in between josh's legs, his socked feet barely hidden under the fluffy blanket.  
and his head would rest on the pillow and josh's arm, his forehead pressed to josh's chin, which josh found adorable.  
soon enough, tyler would fall asleep, and so would josh's arm.  
josh never moved his arm, though.  
his discomfort was far less valuable than tyler's comfort, so in that position he would stay until later when tyler woke up, sitting up and staring out of that window.  
josh used to ask what he was doing, but tyler would just look at him with glazed eyes, almost like he was looking through him and hum.  
he would mumble an answer, something josh couldn't hear, tracing a pattern into his leg with his finger.  
eventually josh just stopped asking, wondering if it was an artist thing.  
tyler wrote and drew a lot, and he was pretty good at both.  
sometimes tyler got inspiration from josh, which made josh very happy and flattered, though he never admitted it.  
and so most of the sketches in tyler's sketchbook were of the blue haired boy currently holding him while he thought about everything and nothing at all.  
times like this were when tyler thought about how much he loved josh.  
josh was perfect in every single way, he was a universe in tyler's eyes.  
his hair was the sky, his eyes were the moons. his lips were a magical galaxy, someplace tyler had never been.  
and the reasons tyler had found to love josh were the stars; impossible to count, but always there, night and day.  
even though sometimes he forgot, he was always in love with josh, and tyler thought he always would be.  
which is why, with his heart beating fast and his hands beginning to sweat, tyler moved back from josh, sitting up and staring out of the window.  
josh noticed, sighing and moving behind tyler to rub his back.  
"something on your mind, ty?" he asked, a feeling that somehow, tonight was different that usual.  
tyler waited a few moments before answering, his tongue running over his teeth in his mouth out of habit. he turned, looking at josh, letting words and possible phrases rattle around in his brain as he nodded, shaking a little in his hands.  
"y-yeah," he replied, his mouth as dry as cotton.  
josh sat up, his posture still relaxed but his heart pounding so hard he was sure it was bruising his ribcage.  
tyler turned to look at josh and let out a quiet sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again.  
"j-josh…"  
"ty, you're scaring me."  
tyler rolled his lips into his mouth and popped his knuckles, before blinking back nervous tears and whispering:  
"josh, i'm gay."  
josh sat there, staring at tyler.  
"oh. okay." he said, grabbing his phone and unlocking it, checking for messages.  
tyler paused, his mouth dropping open.  
"...okay? that's all you're gonna say? i was so nervous to tell you, and okay is all you're going to say?!" tyler demanded, and josh looked up, a small smile on his face at tyler's expression.  
"sorry, i forgot to add the 'me too,'"  
tyler screeched, throwing himself at josh.  
"you too! what does that even mean, josh?!"  
"well, half same anyway. i swing both ways." josh winked, and tyler let out another shriek, that turned into giggles as josh rolled them over and attacked his stomach.  
josh tickled his sides expertly, causing tyler to dissolve into a fit of laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks.  
"p-pleas-" he said through laughs.  
"what do you say?" josh demanded, grinning.  
"i don't k-kno-ow!" tyler lied, throwing his head back.  
"yes, you do tyyy," josh taunted, and tyler tried to catch his breath desperately, but failing.  
"josh s-slays!"  
"and?"  
"josh is q-queen!"  
"annnddd?"  
"and i l-love him!"  
"good." he rolls over, lying next to tyler and continuing to type away on his phone.  
tyler caught his breath quickly, punching josh in the arm.  
"jerk." he murmured. josh turned to look at him slowly. too slowly.  
tyler squeaked, jumping up and rushing off.  
josh rumbled after him.


	6. six

somehow, tyler felt closer to josh.  
he'd thought that they'd been as close as possible before, but them telling each other one of their biggest secrets had really brought them closer.  
"if you put a fireman pole going down from your room, how are you going to get back up?" tyler asked.  
josh shrugged, shoving another chip in his mouth.  
"i'll...shimmy,"  
"oh god," tyler groaned, rolling off the couch to get his drink. "you can't shimmy,"  
josh looked offended.  
"i can shimmy!" he said, his hand on his heart and his lips pursed slightly. tyler snorted.  
"remember that one time, at jack's party when you tried to shimmy and-"  
"that was one time!" josh squealed, throwing a chip at tyler.  
tyler batted the chip away lazily, taking a sip of his soda. a chip lands in his hair.  
josh snatches tyler's drink away, chugging it. tyler frowns at him but doesn't object, sliding back on the couch.  
tyler scrolls through instagram, smirking at his phone.  
josh rolled over, muttering something.  
he moved to lay on tyler's legs.  
then turned.  
then moved again.  
"tylerrrrr," he whispered, poking the side of tyler's face.  
tyler ignored him, continuing to scroll through instagram.  
josh knocked his phone away, and before tyler could yell at him, their faces were two inches apart and tyler could feel josh's breath on his face.  
tyler stills, and josh's lips twitch.  
"baby boy," josh whispers, and tyler feels the butterflies.  
"what, dog breath?" he questions, pushing josh away.  
tyler lets out a loud cackle at the look on josh's face.  
josh laid there, half-way on the couch and half-way on the floor, no motivation to get up at this point.  
he gave up on trying to get attention.  
with a small huff, he crossed his arms, scrunching his eyebrows.  
he hears a sigh, and suddenly, tyler's lying beside him.  
"what do you want?"  
josh's eyes shine with happiness and he grabs tyler's arm.  
"to the roof!" he yells, and tyler rolls his eyes, following after the blue haired boy with a frown.  
they made their way up to the roof. the sky was darkening quickly, and there weren't many clouds in the sky. it was nice outside at the moment, but josh knew it was bound to get cold as the sun set more and more.  
there was a blanket and throw pillows setup out there already from countless nights spent on the roof watching the sunrise.  
tyler sat down, not exactly on the blanket, more towards the edge of the roof. josh followed him, tucking his legs under him.  
tyler let his swing over the edge of the roof, looking out.  
josh's hand found tyler's. he was being clingy tonight, not that tyler minded. it was just unlike josh.  
tyler's eyebrows furrowed.  
though it was a lot better, josh did have anxiety and a bit of bipolar depression.  
tyler laced his fingers with josh's, rubbing his thumb over the back of josh's hand.  
"are you okay, josh?" he asked, and watched josh carefully.  
josh's face crumbled, and his shoulders slumped. he looked tired, his eyes suddenly bright with tears and his nose reddening as he sniffed quietly.  
tyler was staring at him silently, his heart going out to the usually vivacious blue haired boy.  
no! the boy wanted to scream. i'm not okay. i'm really, really not.  
but he didn't.  
instead, josh wiped his cheeks, took a deep breath, and nodded.  
he threw a slightly reassuring-but still fake-smile at tyler, who looked relieved.  
but he wasn't.  
tyler knew that this was fake, that josh was faking all of this. he wasn't okay.  
so tyler laid back on the roof, pulling josh down with him and wrapped him in his arms.  
as soon as josh's head hit tyler's chest, he burst into sobs, and the fluffy haired brunette held him tightly, his hand running up and down his back lightly as he shushed him, soothing him to the best of his ability.  
josh's sobs eventually died down to muffled whimpers into tyler's chest, his hands still gripping the sides of the other boy's red shirt, eyes half closed.  
tyler just continued to hold him, kissing his head.  
josh was strong, but he needed breaks sometimes too.  
josh found another reason to love tyler that night.  
he loved him because he understood josh, he knew josh so well and most of all, he took care of him when he couldn't take care of himself.  
and tyler loved josh because he let tyler take care of him when he couldn't take care of himself.  
he had fallen apart, and he brought it to tyler.  
tyler felt honored, but a little sad.  
what was wrong with his friend?  
meanwhile, wrapped up in tyler's arms on top of a fleece blanket on the roof of josh's house, the boy stared at the stars out of the corner of his eye and felt fear gripping his heart.  
his beautiful friend would never love him the way josh loved him, and that scared him.  
his love was one sided. tyler would never feel the same, but all josh wanted was for tyler to be with him. to feel the same. to understand.  
josh needed tyler, he needed more than he had right now but he didn't know how to get it from tyler.  
and tyler was oblivious to it all, for once in his life. 

___

when the two boys finally went inside, wrapped up in the grey blanket from the roof and stupid from lack of sleep, they grabbed a snack and went back to josh's room where they sat.  
tyler continued to hold josh close, josh's head tucked under tyler's.  
"w-will you sing to me?" josh whispered, and tyler bit his lip, nodding to the best of his abilities.  
after a second of thinking, he eventually began to sing a low melody, his voice carrying throughout the room evenly.  
josh listened, chill bumps appearing over his skin instantly and shivers rushing down his spine. if one thing was certain, it was that tyler was talented.  
and josh was lucky to have him.


	7. seven

"josh...i like you,"  
tyler ran a hand through his hair, staring in his mirror.  
a sigh escaped him.  
he jumped at the sound of his window opening and spun around to see josh.  
"were you talking to yourself?" josh laughed, climbing into tyler's room. tyler blushed.  
"n-no…" he mumbled, and josh laughed again, slipping his arm through tyler's and tugging him outside.  
"c'mon, it's been a week since the last time you were outside for more than five minutes,"  
"maybe it's because i don't want to go outside." tyler grumbled, following josh as he tugged him out. they made their way out to josh's car that was parked in tyler's drive way, tyler sliding into the passenger seat as josh shut his door and slid his key into the ignition.  
the car started up and tyler jammed the aux cord into his phone, picking out his "car rides with jishwa" playlist.  
"i love this song," josh mumbled as a song came on, and tyler smiled lightly.  
"i know," he replied, setting his phone down in the cup holder and settling down in his seat.  
he hummed along, tapping his sneakered shoes to the beat. he was wearing his favorite floral vans, his black skinny jeans, a white shirt and his black and white adidas jacket. he felt...eh.  
josh on the other hand was looking amazing in his dark blue shirt and grey skinny jeans, his hair messy and bright.  
he didn't know how josh could make 'casual' look so...not casual at all.  
they pulled into the taco bell parking lot and tyler's eyes lit up.  
"you took me on a taco bell date! yess!" he screeched, grabbing his phone. josh's cheeks brightened at the word 'date' and he hid in the car for a second, willing the blush away as he pretended to look for his wallet.  
he then followed tyler inside, knowing that if tyler was going to eat anything, it would be taco bell.  
he'd been watching tyler's eating habits lately and knew that he hadn't eaten since around thursday, and today being friday you could say josh was a little concerned. taco bell wasn't the healthiest thing, that was for sure, but josh didn't care. he just wanted tyler to break his fast and he knew this was the easiest way for both of them.  
he felt bad, in all honesty. tyler's parents were never home anymore, always working, fighting, or sleeping. josh had been busy for the past couple of days catching up on school work (stupid geometry) and hadn't had time to watch out for tyler as much.  
here he was, paying for it in greasy food and gross watered down sodas.  
after their food arrived, the boys sat down at a table in the back and began to eat. tyler ate slowly, but he was eating and josh was happy. they sat and scrolled on their phones, showing each other random stuff and talking about whatever. it was simple, routine even...but somehow it still made josh feel like the happiest guy in the world.  
it was the same for tyler, who was burying the guilt about breaking his fast in chalupas and nachos. he took a sip of his lemonade as josh showed him a funny thing on instagram.  
a laugh erupted from him and he slapped his hand over his mouth, trying to swallow his drink but choking in the process. josh took one look at him, lemonade dripping down his chin as he struggled to contain his laughter, choking on his drink, his face bright red and began to laugh too.  
soon enough, they were both about to fall out of their chair from the amount they were laughing. they were getting weird looks but they didn't care.  
the boys were laughing the hardest they could, and it felt good.  
it was officially a proven fact that josh and tyler changed each other's lives for the better.


End file.
